Wow.  3 months since I wrote last.  Life has been busy, as life usually is.  My mom came through her surgery well, and now will be starting radiation treatments soon.  She is doing well, and seems to be coping well with her colostomy. 

Work is has been going well.  Super busy.  Dealing with alot of Cpap/Bipap patients.  Never a dull moment at work.  Always challenging, never boring, which is great.  Might be going on call, is the hospital can see the need.  We know we need to be on call, but it all comes down to money.  The nurses sometimes don't manage too well, and they admit to not knowing the ventilators too well.  It is an accident waiting to happen, and some have happened. 

The kids are doing well, I am looking forward to no school, just as much as them.  Just time to relax.  Not too much planned for the summer.  Have three weeks off, plan on sitting on my deck alot.  May go to Minneapolis for a soccer tournament in July with my younger daughter. 

The older I get, the more I realize how precious life is.  Especially working in a hospital, you see how fragile it is.  When you are young, you don't think about death, you think you will live for ever.  When you hit 40, you realize that your life is half over.  I can see why people have mid-life crisis'.  I try not to dwell on it, but celebrate the fact that I get to live for another day.  My peace comes in knowing that I am one day closer in seeing Jesus. 

A month has flown by.  Work has been busy.  Unfortunately, two of our long term ventilator patients passed away.  One was post polio and the other had ALS.  The post polio patient's death was unexpected, and sad.  The ALS patient was also sad, because he never wanted to be ventilated, it was the pressure from his family.  At the end he had "lock in syndrome."  It was sad going into to check his vent daily, and he was unable to move, not even able to blink.  I saw it as abuse by the family.  Most of them didn't visit him.  We have a new doctor, who luckily felt she could not allow this treatment to go any further.  We disconnected the ventilator in the hospital chapel with his family around him.  He was given a huge dose of morphine, and midazolam, and then I turned off the ventilator.  He wasn't going to breathe, because he lost that ability years ago.  I felt he was finally at peace, and hopefully with God.  No more suffering. 

My mom goes for surgery on March 2.  She has been told the cancer is at stage 2, which is some good news.  Hoping for the best for her.  She is 80 years old, so I don't want her to die a long slow death, with cancer.  I believe I am in denial that she may die.  I am not thinking about her possible dying.  Went to a palliative care conference, which gave me some insite to what death is like with cancer.  We have a palliative ward, where a patient passes on once a day.  Got to be a special person to work on that ward.  Dealing with dying patients would be very difficult.  Hard to see the families, especially when it is a young adult.  Can't imagine.

Work has been going well.  Been there almost 10 months now, and feel at home now.  We have got some good feedback to our department, which is great.  I understand they didn't have much respect before.  We are becoming more a progressive department.  Hard to be progressive when there hasn't been a staff changed in 25 years.  Getting lots of changes done their.  I have pretty high standards, especially when it comes to dealing with patients.  Treat others how you would want to be treated.

I would love to be lying on some tropical beach right now.  With the windchill it is minus 40 outside.  We have had a cold spell for over a week now.  The winter has been mild so far, and knew the warm temperatures wouldn't last forever.  Sometimes I question why I live here, but the summers are hot, so I guess that makes up for it somewhat. 

Off work today, but have to go in later to learn about our new defibrilator.  Can't wait for the day we have to use it on a patient.  Going to be interesting.  We are suppose to know what to do in an arrest situation.  It is going to happen, just a matter of time.

Unfortunately, my mom has been diagnosed with rectal cancer.  She will  be going for surgery.  Right now, they are still doing preliminary tests like a CT and MRI.  They have to figure out whether the cancer has spread beyond her rectum.  She had been having symptoms since last June, unfortunately, she ignored it, thinking it was related to a medication she quit taking.  Her doctor also ignored it.  I am hoping for the best.  Unfortunately, she will have a colostomy after the surgery.  She maybe 80 years old, but a young 80.  Still active, and living on her own.  I am trying not to worry about the situation, since, I don't know what the future holds.

Kato watching the movement on the screen.  Blue wanting to play on the computer too.  Kato sleeping in his favorite position.  Blue posing pretty for the picture. 

Happy New Year to everyone.  Been awhile since I have had the time or desire to write.  Christmas came and went.  Highs and lows, especially regarding family.  Ate turkey for 5 days straight, including some breakfasts.  We still have some in the fridge, but it will be discarded today.  Had a quiet New Years Eve, since, I had to work today.  Had all last week off, which was really nice.  Didn't do too much.  Some shopping.  Worked around the house.  Attempting to clean out the dreaded basement.  That is a never ending challenge.  It makes me nauseated when I think about going thru all the stuff.  I kept alot of the girl's school stuff.  I think I saved almost all their projects from kindergarten.  Going through it to determine what to keep is the hardest part.  I don't want to even start, so there it sits year after year.  I figure our basement will get cleaned out when we have to move to the senior's home.  My husband is going to have a hard time of it, since, he is more of the pack rat than me.  I love throwing out stuff.  The hard part is deciding what to keep.

Our two new kitties are working out well.  Getting be lap cats.  Like to follow me around.  Love running through the house with them, as they try and catch their toy, which is tied to a string.  They are pretty funny.  Animals bring such joy to your life.